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Troll Bugg'n and Freshman Shoot'n

2009-12-01 00:23:34 by PoisonPhantom

Sup homes. Haven't made a post lately so I thought I'd give a bit of something for the Trolls to pick at. A couple months ago, a bunch of High School Freshmen started going through my yard. At first they were just walking by, so they weren't much of a bother. But two weeks ago they started leaving large amounts of trash around so I, being such a kind human being, put a small trash can outside for they're stuff. In hind sight that was a bad idea. The next day I found that they had stolen the trashcan and had put more trash all over the lawn. I was pissed so the next day I got home early put on some of my Dad's old clothes suspenders, old loafers, and a white sleaveless shirt for good taste!;) I took my paintball gun, unloaded it, and put in a Co2 tank. My gun is modeled after the Thompson "Chigago Typewriter" SMG, that coupled with my bulk (6'2" and 220lbs) I looked like a crazy old man who would kill a puppy without remorse. So I waited inside my house for ten minutes then I saw them. As soon as the first energy drink can hit the dirt, I burst out my front door yelling "What the hell are you little maggots doin' on mah lawn!" One punkass turned and said "Throwin crap on it thats what!" Thats when I pulled out my paintball gun. All their faces turned as white as Frances flag when they saw Germany coming their way in World War II. I started yelling again saying "IMA GONNA KEEEELLLL YOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!" I pulled the trigger and my gun made a convincing bang, they all started screaming and then they run while crapping their pants. One of them even passed out about twenty yards from me. I detected the pungent reek of urine around him. He was the apparent leader of their group so just to help the meesage sink in I put the gun at his butt and woke him from unconciouness. he saw me and started shaking I looked at him and said "Are you gonna keep puttn' crap on mah lawn?" He shook his head "Are you gonna be such a punkass?" He shook his head again. "Good. Now GTFO!!!" I hoisted the gun over my head and started shooting it again. And I swear, I have never seen a kid go from zero to sixty so fast in my life. Now I have a clean lawn, and an alter ego of a crazy old man with a fully automatic weapon. Life is good.


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